The Roman emperor Marcus Aurelius wrote a wonderful set of Stoic meditations, and although they have been compiled into a book, they had originally been intended for himself to practice in his daily life. I recently finished reading the book and there are so many amazing parts of it, but I'll just pick one main quote to focus on for today.
From Marcus Aurelius's Meditations (~161 - 180 AD):
“Keep this refuge in mind: the back roads of your self. Above all, no strain and no stress. Be straightforward. Look at things like a man, like a human being, like a citizen, like a mortal. And among the things you turn to, these two:
i) That things have no hold on the soul. They stand there unmoving, outside it. Disturbance comes only from within--from our own perceptions.
ii) That everything you see will soon alter and cease to exist. Think of how many changes you've already seen."
For example, let's say you break your leg. There is real pain--that is a sensation of the body which we can't control--but to look on it as a tragedy, or at least, a huge inconvenience, and to remain bitter that you can't go out and do things while others enjoy the summer, arises from our minds. We can choose not to experience these feelings: we can't choose to be unbothered by the pain of our broken leg: it's an event that has already happened and we can't change the past. But we can accept it, and move on to more important things. Something else Marcus said about pain is that "pain is neither unbearable nor unending, as long as you keep in mind its limits and don't magnify them in your imagination"--quite true, because in the scheme of things, this little experience is neither important nor long-lasting. Even if it was long-lasting, there is still no need let it affect you because there is nothing you can do to change it and to let it sap both your physical and mental energies is not necessary.
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What is worth keeping in mind are these three keys: "Objective judgement...unselfish action...willing acceptance...of all external events." In the case of pain, the objective judgement says that you can't change the past, so there is no benefit in feeling any negative emotions toward it. The unselfish action is to not affect others by your pain, and the best way to do that is to not be disturbed by it yourself, since we all know that the state of our minds affects the people around us. And lastly, the most important part, is willing acceptance of all external events--good or bad. It is only by accepting what we can't change that we can focus on what we can and so actually succeed in life. It's about placing importance on things that matter. It might even be helpful to make a list of things we can't change and things we can, just to put things into perspective. Because when it comes down to it, what we can change is within our mind--our outlook--and what we can't is everything else that happen around us. To be able to go from saying "It's unfortunate that this has happened" to "It's fortunate that this has happened and I've remained unharmed by it--not shattered by the present or frightened of the future. It could have happened to anyone. But not everyone could have remained unharmed by it...the thing itself was no misfortune at all; to endure it and prevail is great good fortune."
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